Crossroads
by Sojuske
Summary: A chat that occurs before Ace leaves can have unexpected consequences and change those around him for the better, or for the worse.
1. Conversations and Goodbyes

Author: Soju/sojuske whatever you would like to call me

Title: Crossroads (tentative title)

Pairing: Eventually Rimmer/Lister

Summary: During Stoke me a Clipper. Rimmer and Lister have a brief chat (and I mean brief) before Rimmer leaves. The conversation and the hints that are dropped therein, have untold consequences later in life. (Or you can just take it as a one shot at the moment and more chapters come later.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dwarf, and I am not profiting from writing this at all. So don't sue me.

After going through the field of Ace's Rimmer retreated to his bunk and sat there, head in hands thinking to himself when Lister entered, giving a small smile.

"Hey," Lister muttered as he sat down on a bunk just across from Rimmer. "So, you going to leave in the morning?"

Rimmer looked at him with a slight glare on his face looking very Rimmerlike regardless of his Ace wig. "Glad to get rid of me eh? That was the whole plan. Let's dump Rimmer into the shoes of that barmy git Ace Rimmer and watch him galavanting out away from us, hopefully to die when trying to protect some stupid damsel in distress." He looked back to the floor.

"Oh ay!" Lister mummered. "No, that's not why I asked. Just wanted to know if you were ready to really be Ace, Ace."

Rimmer snorted. "So Skipper, I'm Ace then. Where are the kipper's that I've been asking for then? Can't leave without my kippers. Oh, shall you come with me instead, I'm sure my computer would just love you so it can stop drooling over me. It's a pity Arnie died, because I'm sure he wanted to tell you something before he was killed. Nice eulogy you had for him there, I didn't know his real name was Smeghead."

Lister looked at him increduously. "I never thought I'd hear the voice of Ace Rimmer say such things in such a sarcastic and insulting way. Come on Rimmer. You know you are glad that you're leaving. I mean, at least you can just pretend that something bad's happening to me, like I've died and whatnot. Isn't that what you always wanted? You're always asking what's going to happen to me. At least you can get away from me and shag all the smegging women that you want."

Rimmer looked at him oddly, shaking his head. "I don't care about the women Listy, or I would have been long gone by now. And I don't care to see you get hurt no matter how I act at times. Now, I believe I have to get acquaintanced to my ship, and I'll see you in the morning with the rest of the crew. Good night Skip." he added as he left in his Ace voice.

Lister sat there in the bunk, wondering what the hell Rimmer was talking about.

"Don't care for women eh?" he muttered. "Well, then, who does he care about. And why should I care now?" Lister shook his head, deciding instead to get some sleep, he'd need it in the morning.


	2. And again with the girls

Author: Soju/Sojuske Title: Crossroads Summary: A conversation leads to some unexpected consequences later in life. Pairings: Going towards Rimmer/Lister. If you don't like the thought of homosexuality, don't read. (although I'm not graphic so I shouldn't think that would be much of a problem.) Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I own the series. Nothing will be gained by suing me, so you have been warned. Authors note: Ok, I would love for people to review my fics, but people normally don't. So, please tell me if you like it. Or read it, or anything! This is the second chapter. Now I have more of an idea for the story, but not too much. But, still. You see I ramble, and now, on to the fic. (and I haven't seen Dimension Jump, so if there is an actual name and appearance for the Wildfire's computer, I would be glad to find out.) 

He looked around victorious, the wind ruffling his blond hair softly as he watched the base explode. Arms planted victoriously on his hips, legs a shoulders width apart, he was the image of the greatest man in the universe: Ace Rimmer!

He turned from the scene of burning wreckage to look at the woman beside him, who was gazing at him with eyes full of adoration and worship. Her long brown hair flowed down her bare back, covering the open backed gown she was wearing. She moved towards him, grasping onto one of his arms with her delicate ones and rested her cheek on his bicep.

"Oh Ace." she breathed softly. "You're my hero. How can I ever repay you?" She looked at him with a small smile. "I know what men like, it is the only way I can even begin to thank you." And with those words she pulled herself close to his face, and gave him a small kiss on the lips. Ace looked at her in bemusement.

"No need Ma'am. Seeing you alive and beautiful is all the payment that I want and need." He raised one finger to her lips and smiled at her. "Now, I'll take you back home to your fiancee my dear. And not another word ok?"

She nodded and followed him closely to his motorbike. He got on and motioned her to take a seat behind him. "Hold on tight beautiful. No point in slipping off and me having to save you again." He shot a grin at her before revving his engine and heading off at high speed with her latched around his waist.

He dropped her off as quick as he could. (Which wasn't quick enough since he got held up with her parents and her fiancee and the citizens. Smeg, that's annoying.) and as he left he could faintly hear them say, "What a guy!"

Every day was like this. Every smegging day. Rimmer was so sick of it, he could just puke. He had become Ace, the self satisfied smug git of the universe. The lady-killer, the hero. And he couldn't take it much longer. After he had finally dropped the princess off at her palace (which took a while, she didn't want to get off of him.), he then had to deal with her father, her fiancee, the citizens. Bah! It was too much. And he couldn't even be himself.

He sat in the cockpit of the Wildfire, sipping some hot tea with milk in it (Cow's milk of course. He was never going to try Dog's milk, leave that to Lister.) to soothe his throat. It was hard to imagine it, but his voice became really sore and strained after hours spent talking like the hero Ace Rimmer. And he had learned what would happen when he would lapse into his regular voice. The last time he did that it was on accident, and he almost got shot at by the young men who were trying to help him rescue their country from a fascist dictator. He sounded, too weasily then, they said (Just like Kryten, he muttered softly) and they didn't believe it was him until he raised his hands, said something in his Ace voice ,(in this case "Hey laddies! Don't smoke me as a kipper eh?") and explained that he just had a cold.

Rimmer chuckled into his tea, surprising the computer.

"Oh Aaaace!" it sang to him, almost making him choke in surprise. "It seems your spirits have been raised. What are you thinking about?"

Rimmer looked at the screen. "About the irony of killing the Fascist dictators that I used to worship and look up to. And the fact that I don't seem to really care anymore."

The computer looked at him from the console, frowning a bit. "How does that raise your spirits then?" she asked, her green eyes looking at him out of her delicate visage, framed by brown hair. (It was a pity that she couldn't do much about it being a computer and all. Sometimes she would just wish she could be a hologram, just like Ace. But that's another story entirely.)

"It didn't." came the reply, short and to the point. The computer sighed. "So you didn't get laid by the girl again Ace? I would think that with your popularity, you would easily be able to get laid. I mean, really now. I'd help you with that gladly, but as you can see, I am unable to do what i want." Rimmer glared at her.

"What?" she asked innocently, before looking at his face and huffing. "How come you can't just be like the other Ace's Ace. They would have been glad after their missions. They would have had fun. And they wouldn't be sitting at the cockpit moping, drinking black tea and coffee between sucking cough drops. I mean really, you are an Ace. It's in your blood. Why do you always have to regress!" And with that, she winked out to go sulk in the memory banks and reminisce on all the other Ace's and her secret fantasies with them.

Rimmer sighed. "He wasn't lying when he said that Martha made miscalculations over him. I'm surprised she didn't try to find a way to plug me into her so she could do what she wanted with me." he muttered under his breath before getting up and looking at the view-screen. Nothing, no messages, nothing.

"Martha!" he called out to the computer. "I'm sorry ok? But I need your help, you beautiful temptress you." He flashed an Ace smile, cringing inside at his actions. 'What could have made me such a supreme self centered git? I blame the wig.' he thought as he waited for Martha to appear on the screen. He didn't have to wait long.

"Oh Ace. I knew you couldn't be upset for long. What would you like me to do, you lovable hunk you?" Martha giggled slightly, a bit set off from the computer whiskey that she had downloaded just seconds earlier when she was pouting.

Inwardly Rimmer cringed. He knew he did something wrong, and he was guessing that Martha was at the compu-whiskey again. 'I don't know why she even bothers with drinking the stuff. And that often. Am I so different from the other Ace's?' "Oy you dollface. Actually, I need to get a tiny bit of R and R. I was wondering if you could put your perfect handling skills to the test and man the ship while I rest?"

Martha giggled and blushed looking at him coyly. (He was always amazed when she did that. It was something that all the girls he saved did. Only they had hands, and body language to go with it, while Martha was just a head.) "Of course Ace. I'll be glad to. Don't mind me, and get your beauty sleep!"

Rimmer went to his room, and looked at the computer screen. "Lock and privacy.' He said out loud, eliciting a slight sigh from Martha as she turned her attention back to space. Waiting for a second to see if Martha was still there, he decided the coast was relativly clear as he peeled the wig away from his head. Dumping it onto the table in the middle of the room he went towards his bunk and collapsed on it, grunting a bit as his flight suit grew tight from that position and the fluff on the back of the neck put his head in an odd position. He sat back up, and began to strip from his flight suit, finally getting down to just his white shirt and regulation boxers. (From his universe at least. Martha used to tease him for wearing that instead of the usual Ace Rimmer bedtime outfit, which was conveniently nothing. Mainly because Ace's normally don't sleep with clothes on. Nor do they sleep alone. But that is besides the point.) Finally free of the Ace legacy for just a few minutes he fell back into his bunk and went under the covers.

"Why did I leave Starbug to do this anyways?" he muttered to himself as he passed his hand over his forehead, lingering on the spot where his H used to be. "I don't even enjoy the job much at all. Saving people and risking my neck, I never was cut out for that. And even the supposed perks don't actually make it worthwhile. I can't believe that now, one of my adult fantasies practically comes true, and I don't even care."

He lay down reminiscing on his past on Starbug and Red Dwarf, trying to find a better time in his life, however he could only remember one scene. The one time he could have told his friend how he really felt. The one time he truely realized how much his room mate, and bunk mate meant to him. And how much he had screwed up in his past. He closed his eyes, aiming to go to sleep, wishing to be back on the Starbug and that all of it was a bad dream. Wishing, hoping, that for once, the symbol that he had lived with for 6 years would return. The symbol he had detested with all his being, the symbol that was a bane and the chain that dragged him to the conclusion that he was dead, and life was not worth living, and that he should try to find a way back to life. Instead, he was trapped with more insidious symbols. A wig, a voice, a flight suit, and sunglasses. Oh what he would give to have his H back.

Listers face appeared in his mind, "Come on Rimmer. You know you are glad that you're leaving. I mean, at least you can just pretend that something bad's happening to me, like I've died and whatnot. Isn't that what you always wanted? You're always asking what's going to happen to me. At least you can get away from me and shag all the smegging women that you want." he said, the past conversation coming back to slap Rimmer back to reality.

'He didn't realize, and he didn't care. He just wished you were gone, just like you wished he was. Why aren't you happy Ace?' the voice sneered at him. 'Why, he might be dead now, while you were still off training and being a general cowards in the first few weeks. Remember we got a few distress calls eh? But what does it matter. You got all the girls that you want.'

"But all I want is him!" Rimmer said to his doubt and misgivings. And right when the darker side of him decided to retort, his bunk shook, hard. Rimmer's eyes snapped open as he rolled out of bed quickly, using the light bee remote to get himself instantly dressed, and put his wig back on.

"Privacy off!" he snapped to the screen and Martha came on. "What's wrong Martha?"

"Nothing much Ace. Just hit a rather wicked solar wind. Sorry to hurt your nap, but while we were riding, I also got a distress signal. From dimension 157, the one right next to the one you came out of. It's from the mining ship Red Dwarf. They have an odd cry for help. It seems they want us to go to yet another dimension and save the last surviving member of the crew. One Arnold Judas Rimmer."

'Oh Great. Not another one of me.' Rimmer thought to himself before looking back to Martha. "Wait a minute. What dimension is the ship that we need to get to and save another Rimmer from?"

"The same one you came out of. And that Rimmer belongs in that dimension apparently as well." Martha stopped in mid sentence. Rimmer looked at her in confusion.

"Wait a minute. How does that... Forget about that Martha me dear. Set a course. The best way to find out what's going on is getting it straight from the man himself."

Martha smiled. Her Ace was coming back. "All right.. Brace yourself. Checking, 1, 2, 3..."

The world swirled in a mass of color and light.


	3. Arnie's Rescue

Author: Sojuske

Title: Crossroads (duh)

Pairing: Eventually Rimmer/Lister

Summary: During Stoke me a Clipper. Rimmer and Lister have a brief chat (and I mean brief) before Rimmer leaves. The conversation and the hints that are dropped therein, have untold consequences later in life. (aka, Im working on it.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dwarf, and I am not profiting from writing this at all. So don't sue me.

Lister was working in his shift, waiting for Cat to take over when he arrived. It had been a long day. With Kochanski and Kryten arguing the entire time (about salad cream none the less) and Cat looking at his portable mirror, life was the same old boring routine. And the only thing that would have made it seem more normal was if a familiar smeg headed crew member would walk back in and stay.

"About time Cat, you're late man. Where've you been?" he said tiredly, staring straight ahead at the viewscreen hearing boots behind him coming towards the cockpit. "Hello Listy." a very familiar voice said, as it sat down on the consoles at Kryten's station.

Lister turned quickly. "Rimmer! What are you doing here?" Rimmer shrugged.

"Just came back to say hi. Got fed up being the hero, so, here I am." He took off his Ace wig. "So, how have you been Listy?"

"Same old same old. You know, I missed you man." Lister looks up at Rimmer with slightly adoring eyes and Rimmer looks back at him just the same. Rimmer gave a solemn nod. " I did too Lister."

Suddenly, almost unexpectedly, Lister jumps up at Rimmer, who does the exact same thing and they pull each other into a bone crunching hug. "Don't ever leave me again." Lister breathes anxiously as he holds Rimmer's warm body close to him.

"I won't. Oh Listy..."

"Rimsy..." Lister says back as they go closer and finally kiss each other, on the lips. In their desperate state, the kiss quickly turned into one of tongues exploring and darting around. The warmth and the comfort and passion, drew Lister into a stupor as they parted briefly to breathe.

'Wow... he's a good kisser. Better snogger than Kochanski was that one time I got her drunk enough to kiss me.' he thought briefly before realizing something.

'Wait a moment. I'm snogging Rimmer here! And how come I'm on Starbug?'

Listers eyes snapped open as he panted in slight fear and confusion looking around. He was on the mirror Red Dwarf in his quarters. Or rather, his mirror's quarters. It was close enough, other than the fact that his mirror self was a great engineer. He got up, barely missing his head on the ceiling and made his way out of the bunk, looking at the empty bottom bunk where the 5th member of their party should have gone. Suddenly all his memories of the incident came flooding back.

How Rimmer (the new one that was remade by the nanobots.) was on the dying Red Dwarf in their original timeline. How they had left him there, thinking that he wasn't going to return with the formula when in actuality, he finally found it and headed back, right before the portal closed. How he had remembered the special contacting numbers to give a distress call that could be answered by the only people and ship that could help save Rimmer's life. The Wildfire and Ace, with it's dimension jump capability. And how apprehensive he was to see Ace again, after he had been having such dreams for the past year, along with how he was still obsessing over their last conversation.

"Oy Rimmer... What did you want to say when you left?" he muttered right as Kryten poked his head into the door.

"Oh, excuse me sir. But the distress call we sent out an hour ago has been picked up by the Wildfire, which is trying to contact us to get more details. It seems she wants to speak with you sir." Kryten wrings his hands aplogetically for waking him up, and looks at him hopeful, maybe he'll leave him some extra laundry when all is said and done. Lister nods at Kryten and begins to head out before stopping.

"Wait a minute. Kryten, She? What's with she? You canna tell me..."

"The computer sir, is a she. Martha, she said her name was. Ace was not available at the moment she said, but she would like to know more so she can move them towards the Red Dwarf." Kryten looked at how crestfallen Lister was when he said that and filed it as odd. 'Why would he seem so disappointed that it was a girl. I mean really. You would think that he would be glad since she has those little in and out bits and makes those interesting horizontal motions that he seems to desire so much!'

"Alright Kryten, I'm coming, I'm coming. Don't you have some laundry to do or something?" Lister added, not wanting Krtyen to see him talk to the computer. He might let something slip that Rimmer (the hologram one, not the flesh and blood one) was actually Ace, and that would have Kyten prying. And he didn't want to sit through the Rimmer experience yet again nor try hypnosis. The accidental exposure to the Nuremberg speech almost gave him a heart attack last time. And knowing his luck, next time it would be something even worse, something he was unable to think of yet. Kryten's eyes lit up in ecstasy.

"Washing sir? Yes, I do. If you need me to help talk to the computer, just call, I'll be down in the laundry room, scrubbing your long johns. This time there is a beautiful..."

"Kryten." Lister held up a hand to stop the mechanoid from continuing. "Don't tell me and just do it. I better go." Kryten nodded and with a brief "of course sir," left as fast as his odd gait could take him to the laundry room. Lister chuckled at the mechanoids retreating form before jogging up to the teaching room (since it had a lock and a console) which was only a few halls down.

When he entered the familiar drab room, he was glad that no one stayed there overnight. It seems that this universes Rimmer, didn't try to suck up to the teachers of the exam after hours for hours and hours on end. Mainly because that he was the captain of this ship and had no need, but what the smeg. "Lock." Lister ordered first before going to the console.

"Uh, Holly. Can you patch me through to the Wildfire please?"

Holly's face appeared on the screen. "Communicating..." he said, before his face disappeared and the face of a female with short brown hair and green eyes looking out of a slightly pouty face.

"This is Martha of the Wildfire responding to the distress beacon. What's the problem exactly that we need to save this other Rimmer from?"

Lister looked at the computer, with an open mouth for a moment. 'Smeg, even the computer is good looking. And Rimmer didn't want to leave? What, was he crazy?'

"Oh uh, well, it's a dangerous mission, since the entire ship is decomposing and there is a creature, or chemical or some sort that is eating up the ship. it eats up metals, but it doesn't eat up glass, however he doesn't have much time left, according to our calculations. It seems he went back to try to save us, but it ended up that we lost him instead."

Martha thought about it for a second. "I believe we can get him, although there is no guarantees. Oy, are you Skipper?" she asked. "I'm setting a course now, but I'm curious if this is the highly elusive Skipper that Ace keeps talking about." Her green eyes looked at him up and down trying to gauge why Ace seemed so... is infatuated the word? She sure hoped not, but it didn't matter.

Lister nodded, wondering what Rimmer had been telling to that computer. 'He probably is glad to be gone, and he regaled the computer with tales of my disobedience. Like the hundreds of times he put me on report, Like the one time he put me on report for mutiny, yah, he probably told her about that, but embellished it a bit.'

"Yah, I was called Skipper by Ace at one point. Is it important? What have you heard about me?"

Martha looks at him one last time and quirks a quick grin. "I've heard nothing much about you. It just seems that Ace's seem to mention your name around me and I was wondering who they were really talking about. I mean really, three generations of Ace's is hard to ignore. Well, I'll contact you again to tell you how the rescue went. Goodbye." Martha smiled and winked out, leaving Lister staring at the monitor.

"Well then, that wasn't as bad as I thought." he muttered to himself wondering why Ace himself didn't come onto the screen. "Ah, he's probably shagging some beautiful woman, or an alternate form of McGruder." he laughed fakely before hearing his stomach rumble.

"Time for my morning vindaloo then. Unlock." he ordered, prompting the door to open so he could leave. On his way to the kitchen he saw Cat and his alternate self talking, or maybe arguing in the corridor.

"You can't wear that! It's so last century." Cat was exclaiming in horror as he saw his doubles form of dress and appearance in his plaid shirt and drab brown pants. "I can't be seen with you. No one can know that you are me with your horrid dress sense." Cat's alternate self laughed a bit.

"No one would care hear, believe it or not. Actually, I think I should be the one embarrassed at your appearance. It's obvious to anyone that you only care about your clothing and your brain is as hollow as a shop's mannequin."

"Ah, but.." Cat flufffed his suit's collar. "a well dressed shop mannequin."

Lister shook his head and tried not to chuckle as he walked past, eliciting Cat's cry of "What are you laughing at monkey?" before he finally made it to the kitchen. Luckily enough for him there was ample curry supplies on the ship, so he dug into them while he waited for any report from the Wildfire.

In a parallel universe, the small ship Wildfire appeared, next to the gigantic hulk of metal that was the Red Dwarf. Or what was left of it anyways. The bulkheads were collapsing and already one part of the ship was almost torn in half, making the ship in danger of exploding any minute now.

"Where is he Martha? Can you get him on your scans?" Ace asked slightly worried, as he watched the ship, knowing the problems occuring inside.

"Yes, he's up on deck 24... Wow, he's moving fast. I wonder what he thinks he is trying to run from. It's not like Death is at his heels or anything. I can let you use the transporter we got from that society in dimension 134 to get down safely." Martha looked at him with admiration filled green eyes. "Go save him Ace, you know the code, I'll beam you back up as soon as you find him." Ace nodded.

"Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast." he announced proudly, disappearing in flash of light.

Currently on the same ship Arnold Judas Rimmer was running as fast as he could up the decks away from the cloaked and hooded fellow with the scythe and that crazy dispensing machine. Even though he couldn't see any advanced deterioration yet, he could still smell the smoke from the lower decks as he raced to god knows where.

'Ooh, I don't think he's happy I did that.' he thought to himself as he sped down another corridor. 'I mean, kicking death in the joy department isn't going to give you good grades when he finally catches up with you.' He continued racing until he saw an figure suddenly materialize in front of him in the hallway. A figure about his height in a flight jacket with wavy blond hair and a killer smile.

"Oy Arnie. Or Arnold Judas Rimmer. I've come for you." The figure said in a smooth voice.

Rimmer stopped dead. 'Who is this freak? Oh no, don't tell me that it's death again trying to make me come nicely.' "You think that disguise is going to fool me you barmy git. I mean really. I thought you might get it the first time I kneed you in the todgers I'm not coming with you!"

Ace blinked at him. 'He what?' he thought in disbelief before shaking his head and gesturing a negative. "I don't know who you think I am Arn, but I'm here to save your life."

Rimmer was scared. Who was this odd self centered git? And why would he want to save his life? He was about to give a scathing comment to that stranger when a strangely familiar dark body came up the hallway. The newcomer looked at Death with wide eyes and Rimmer ran to the man.

"Ok, ok I believe you. Can we go!" Rimmer asked quickly getting a quick nod from the other man.

'Oh god. What is going on here?' Ace thought before holding Rimmer's arm. "Martha, get us out of here now!" The world blinked out around him as he was transported onto the Wildfire with his passenger.

The dark figure looked at where Rimmer and Ace were and swore. "This is a bad day. How am I going to explain this to my boss?" before winking out himself and coming on a ship that was pitch black. He set down the scythe and looked around. Soon another hooded figure also came towards him. "So, did you get the job done and keep this universe on track?" it asked. The first one looked sheepish (as much as a cloaked figure without any expression can).

"Um... There was a bit of a problem." it said sheepishly in it's deep booming voice. If the other could raise it's eyebrow and be seen it would be doing that right now.

"A bit of a problem..." it said incredulously. "You just had to get one Arnold Judas Rimmer. The world's biggest coward on a ship that was being destroyed. He was the last one there, you saw how he was knocked down. How could there have been a problem? You know that we needed to kill him, how was that so hard?" It looked at the original one who was slightly hunched over indicating a reasoning. The leader made a scornful sound.

"Well, you still have the job. Let's not waste anymore time then." before stalking off. The injured one picked it's scythe back up. "Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be" it muttered before making it's way up the ship.

A dark black ship that seemed to hide into the background of space fired it's engines and began to follow the Wildfire at a steady pace. And yet on radar screens nothing could be seen, leaving the occupants blissfully unawares of the creatures behind and their mission of extermination.

---------------

End of that chapter, and now for a brief Authors note

A/N: Ok, now I think I have more of a plot worked out. I swear that it will be slash later one, but I just wanted to get this over with so I can post something before I leave to go to Idaho for 6 days. Since I never get reviews before this I have to thank all my reviewers. (I got reviews, squee!)

Kirke- He'll convince Lister what he feels. However that's dealt with when they meet again. I like cannon events so I'm trying not to screw up things that was in the series, but what they leave you with is fair game eh?

Reddwarfaddict- Yup, it does link up to Only the good. I'm so predictable ne?

Sunrise over the Tango Factory- Thanks for the compliment. I'm continuing and I hope I don't disappoint you guys.

Boogle- Thanks too. I'm continuing. I just hope it's good.

Okies, thanks, and I hope I didn't disappoint you guys.

(Reviews keep me alive and help me improve, so review away!)


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